By Josh Kilburn
There’s an old saying that goes a little something like this: If you want it done right, you have to do it yourself. Well, apparently reality was not doing the whole “persecute American Christians” thing well enough for three pastors from Akron, Ohio. To make up for what they must surely feel is a depressing lack of persecution, the pastors decided to stage an incident just to show how horribly persecuted they really are. Because as we all know,they’re so persecuted, they named not one but two movies after their unfortunate plight.
Working together with the local sheriff, the three pastors – Rev. Melford Elliott, Rev. Robert Golson, and the Rev. Vincent Peterson – were mock arrested on Sunday. The very real police arrived, put on their best Bilderberg/Illuminati “We heart the Antichrist” jackboots and armbands, and marched into the church. They detained the pastors and guided them out into the awaiting police cars, where they were sent to the nearest “reeducation camp,” because if we’re going to be ridiculous about this, we might as we go the whole ten yards.
While the pastors and the police knew this was all a ruse, the people in the pews didn’t, and weren’t told it was all a marketing ploy until after the arrests had occurred. When the videos of the incident hit the Internet – as these things often do – they spread quickly, and soon the Sheriff’s department found itself in hot water. Sheriff Steve Barry was forced to issue a statement that basically amounted to, “none of this is real, I knew we were being filmed, but I didn’t think anyone else besides the congregation would see it.” Welcome to the information age, Sheriff Barry!
Even better than all that, the whole incident was all on the tax payer dime, and will continue to be until the 22nd of March, when the churches put on a production at a local theater. “Defending the faith” indeed.
You can watch a video of the “arrests” that tax dollars paid for below: